Work: A 13-Part Guide to Earning a Living for Dreamers, Loafers and People Who Just Plain-Old Don’t Fit In

Sleeping on your mother’s couch is not what it’s cracked up to be. Especially if you are a middle-aged man. This is why getting a job is a great idea. With a job you can buy your own couch, have it delivered to your own house and sleep on it on your own time (just make sure you wake up early enough to get to work).

Having your own couch in your own house has other perks, too. You won’t embarrass your mother when you kiss your girlfriend on the cheek. You can sit on the arm rest with your shoes on the cushion (eating saucy kung pao chicken with chopsticks no less) without a fuss. And you can drool like a mad man (or woman) while you sleep–and never clean it up.

None of this could happen, however, if you didn’t have a job.

Sounds simple enough, right? Get a job. But it’s not. Getting a job is hard. Getting a job that you love is even harder. And if you are a dreamer/loafer like me then getting a great job you love is like the absolute hardest thing to do in the entire universe.

See why I loved my mother’s couch so much?

It’s not an utterly helpless situation, though. In the last twenty years or so I’ve managed to get a job and do all sorts of other neat things with my career. And if I can do it, then I’m confident you can, too.

So, from loafer-to-loafer, let me tell you about some of those neat little things I did to get people to give me money–and hopefully I can encourage you to get off your mother’s couch and behind a desk or the wheel of an excavator or something useful like that.

And by the way, workaholics need not apply. (Literally! Har har! I kill me!)

How to Outsmart Obsolescence

The first time I met Peter Hut was in a swank, open-air lounge where the concrete floor shone from a glossy finish. Peter draped himself over one of the three black faux leather couches and complained about how cold the place was.

Because You Don’t Know the Difference Between Entrepreneur and Freelancer

Long ago I used to think that I was an entrepreneur. That illusion was destroyed when I ran into some real entrepreneurs.

The Best Thing You Could Do Right Now to Succeed as an Entrepreneur

What an autistic woman taught be about fear, automatic-sliding doors and getting fired. And other inspirational goodies loafers from around the world will be happy to get their little soft hands all over.

A Fast and Frugal Guide on the Problem of Giving Advice

I could give you formulas. Cheat sheets. Tricks. But there is one thing I can’t give you. And it matters the most.

How to Properly Carve Out a Career

Simple. Imagine where you want to end. And then work backwards.

The Creative Freelancer’s Guide to Melancholy

The creative freelancer is going to be moody. Manic. And often sad. Here’s what to do if you find yourself in a pit longer than is healthy.

10 Pranks to Pull on Other People When Your Job Makes You Sick

Face it: no matter how much you love your job, at times your work is a drag. And you need a stiff pick me up to get through the day. Try these ten pranks.

How to Cope with Co-Workers Who Hate to Be Touched

I never thought they actually existed. People who hate human contact. But they do. I’ve run into one. And it wasn’t pretty.

Secrets the Cubicle Bound Can’t Tell You

Work is a necessary evil. So if you are going to do something to make a living, you better have a good reason for doing it.

Hard Work Is Meaningless Without This

Imagine if you live on the side of the 23,600 foot massif of Nozing Kangtsang, between the Tibetan capital Lhasa and Mount Everest to the south. And your job is to watch over a flock of 60 goats and sheep.

A Quick and Dirty Guide to Killing Your Life Long Dream

After college I wanted to go to graduate school and then pursue advanced work. My dream was to teach on the collegiate level and write bad poetry on the side. So why is that dream in a body bag?

How to Put a Bullet Through the Head of Job-Loss Anxiety

Cubicle prostitution is a dreadful thing. But we all fall for it. Here’s why.

Writing Advice from a Rock Climber, Monk and Bonehead–Really?

What can I say. I’m a selfish turd prone to episodes of self-loathing where all I want to do is write bad poetry. But I do know a little about writing. And that lifestyle.

If you love what you just read, then subscribe to CopyBot. And follow me on Twitter or Google+.